One of the resolutions we had this year was to write more about the mental side of personal finance, something that doesn’t get talked about as much. It’s true — unless you have your mind in the right place, you can get all of the advice in the world can still be in the same place financially. It’s sad, but its’ really true. You just need to make sure that you’re thinking about the bigger picture as much as possible. You can’t just sit there and think that there’s no way that you are ever going to be able to afford to fix your finances. That’s negative thinking, and in this arena…negative thinking can actually cost you big time. You start thinking that there’s no hope for you, and then you literally start living like there’s no hope for you ever. You can’t find yourself making that type of mistake. It just doesn’t allow you to get the type of happiness that you set out to receive in life.
Nobody wakes up as a child and thinks that they’re going to grow into a world filled with struggle. But the world isn’t fair, and that’s what happens sometimes. Sometimes we don’t get to go off to University, and we have to take a job to take care of our family. Or maybe our parents die before we even become an adult, and we have to live with grandparents that we don’t like, or aunts and uncles that have never visited us. They want to do the right thing, but they were busy living the high life found when you don’t have children. They never realized that they would have to take in their sister or brother’s children. Resentment often sets in, making life very hard.
But what about when love turns sour? You start thinking about this big, brave world where you and your spouse are going to take over everything. There will be love and happiness, right? The reality is that you’re going to find that you will have to think carefully about what you will accept and what you will refuse. If you’re someone that isn’t going to take something laying down, then you have a lot of trouble waiting for you. Marriage is about compromise. When the wedding cake has been eaten and all of the fanfare has gone away, you’ll find that you’re going to be in for a big shock over time. There’s nothing like making sure that you have things laid out in a certain way.
Of course, this brings us to the financial blueprint, but not yet. You have to stop and realize that you’re worth it. It can be hard to hear that. When I was growing up, I didn’t get told that I was really worth it. Believe it or not, that soaked its way into our finances. I started thinking that there wasn’t any point for me to really do anything in life, because nobody would take me seriously. I wasn’t worth it. So instead of fighting for promotions at work — I just let other people step in. By the time I realized that I was a pretty good person, there weren’t any posts available for me to take on! That was a pretty miserable experience, and one that I never, ever want to repeat if I can help it.
You get to a point where you feel like you’re at the end of your rope. You don’t have to feel that way forever, you know. It’s just a matter of thinking about all of the good stuff that lies in wait for you. Once you figure that part out, everything else just makes sense in the long run.
Be sure that you’re focusing on your needs, not just anyone’s needs. You’re an important person too, and you have rights. it’s time to stand up for yourself! Don’t give up when there’s so much more to this story.
Sit down and start thinking about your future. You need to write out what you want, and what you don’t want. Knowing what you’re not willing to do and seeing it written in your own handwriting is very powerful.
You need to take a moment out of every day to really just enjoy the power of being you. Otherwise, you’ll start wondering why you even bother trying. You’ll get a point where you just feel dirty, nasty, lost, and alone. You might fall in with the wrong people. Everyone has a role to play in your financial future, whether you think about it or not. There are plenty of people that don’t think about all of the options they have, and people take advantage of them. Once hurt, you don’t forget that type of pain. You want to shut it out, but it keeps growing and growing and growing. That’s the problem with pain — once we’re hurt, we don’t really know how to stop hurting. You might find yourself trying to turn to retail therapy to make the pain go away. And for a while, it does — but then you have debts. Later, you run into the arms of the first person that will accept you. If you gain children out of this type of arrangement, you may struggle to take care of them. Is the other person really going to do their fair share, or are they lying to you?
All of this plays a role in your mental health, which in turn plays a role in your financial health. Give yourself financial peace by taking time to find out what’s going to work for you and what isn’t going to work for you. Trust us, you’ll be a better person in no time!