Divorce is something that is pretty painful to talk about, but there comes a point where you really have to deal with it. I won’t go into the morality of it, nor will I tell you that you need to reconsider divorce as it’s not a good thing to do. You just have to figure out what you want to do at every angle, and work from there. If you are leaving a relationship where there are children involved, it’s very important to make sure that you have strong legal counsel backing you at every turn. If you don’t get a good lawyer, you could end up damaging your children’s future without thinking about it. Don’t let anyone tell you that they have your child’s best interests at heart — they often don’t.
Moving on, the biggest thing that you can do in a divorce is have good communication. You want to be honest with each other. If things are just not working, then arguing over property doesn’t seem like a great use of time. Everything should be divided as fairly as possible ahead of time. In fact, most of the high cost of divorce stems from arguing over who gets what, rather than actually being separated. People feel like they need to fight at the last minute to get back things that really don’t matter to them. They want to fight over things because they can’t fix the things that were terribly broken — that’s the hard part, and it’s hard to feel like you really can move on.
You have to stop wonder if you’re financially ready to handle divorce. If you’ve been saving money and holding on to your job, you might get out of things a lot better than what you might expect. Some people feel that it’s pointless to even think about getting out of their marriage, because they really wouldn’t have any resources. The truth is that if your spouse feels like the only reason you’re holding on is because of the money, they’re going to eventually leave. No one wants to feel that way at all.
Are you looking at how you’re going to move on from these problems? What about finding somewhere to live? It can feel like you have to make a lot of these decisions quickly, and you often don’t get a lot of time. So if you can, find someone that has already been through the divorce process. Everyone’s divorce is going to be slightly different, but they should be able to support you where it counts.
Keep your head up — better financial times can be ahead of you! ~Ellie